The walk to wellness begins in the rain.
For me, it began out the other side of a mental breakdown, after I had hit the lowest point in my life yet and clawed myself back out (with the thanks of the most amazing friends and a timely holiday), when I got sick and had my period at the same time as a storm rolled in. A real one, with dark clouds and rain and thunder and lighting.
My anxiety had been overwhelming. I’d begun a new job, I was working with new people, and I was undertaking new tasks. I was overtired. It was the first real chill of winter, and my mood dropped. I didn’t want to do anything, I didn’t want to get out of bed. I just wanted to be an amorphous blob.
It was during that time I realised something had to change, and it would need to start now. So on my way home from work I went past the supermarket and picked up magnesium, vitamin B mix and vitamin D. There was a sale on all vitamins at the time – it was a sign that it was time I got myself into gear and start taking better care of myself.
This was about 3 weeks ago. I’ve been on them since, which has improved my energy levels and plateaued out the extremes of my anxiety. 6 days ago I began meditating for 5 minutes every morning, which has helped to calm those extreme peaks even more. Yesterday I went to the doctors and came away with a script for fluoxetine, and I’ll begin that in 10 days.
This blog is going to be a way to chart my walk to wellness (more of a shuffle, really), with all the difficulties involved with recovering from narcissistic abuse, sexual abuse, anxiety and depression. Add a dash of autism in there and we’ve got ourselves an interesting ride, folks.