The walk to wellness begins in the rain


The walk to wellness begins in the rain.

For me, it began out the other side of a mental breakdown, after I had hit the lowest point in my life yet and clawed myself back out (with the thanks of the most amazing friends and a timely holiday), when I got sick and had my period at the same time as a storm rolled in.  A real one, with dark clouds and rain and thunder and lighting.

My anxiety had been overwhelming.  I’d begun a new job, I was working with new people, and I was undertaking new tasks.  I was overtired.  It was the first real chill of winter, and my mood dropped.  I didn’t want to do anything, I didn’t want to get out of bed.  I just wanted to be an amorphous blob.

It was during that time I realised something had to change, and it would need to start now.  So on my way home from work I went past the supermarket and picked up magnesium, vitamin B mix and vitamin D.  There was a sale on all vitamins at the time – it was a sign that it was time I got myself into gear and start taking better care of myself.

This was about 3 weeks ago.  I’ve been on them since, which has improved my energy levels and plateaued out the extremes of my anxiety.  6 days ago I began meditating for 5 minutes every morning, which has helped to calm those extreme peaks even more.  Yesterday I went to the doctors and came away with a script for fluoxetine, and I’ll begin that in 10 days.

This blog is going to be a way to chart my walk to wellness (more of a shuffle, really), with all the difficulties involved with recovering from narcissistic abuse, sexual abuse, anxiety and depression.  Add a dash of autism in there and we’ve got ourselves an interesting ride, folks.