I have had the pleasure of my amazing human for nearly two years now.
During this time our communication has morphed from what we thought it should be to a proper reflection of who we are as people. We both have aspergers. We both have had challenging interpersonal relationships because of this. We both have subconscious ‘normal filters’ and a culture influenced view of how relationships should be.
Earlier on he would say “I love you too” when I told him I loved him. Now he makes happy noises and rocks, which is his way of saying “I love you too”. It means exactly the same thing, but this is how he communicates best.
Now those happy noises and rocking can mean anything from ‘this is exciting’ to ‘I love you’, but they’re always positive feelings. It just depends on the context.
This used to bug me a bit – not the noises or the obvious sentiment behind them, but the fact that he wouldn’t say the words “I love you too”, because I like words. It’s not that I don’t understand what he’s communicating, but rather that I want the words, because I’m used to words, and I use words.
These days I’m a lot more relaxed. I don’t need the words. I like words, but I don’t need them. One day I might, and I will tell him then that I need the words at that time. But right now, I see more love in his smile and in his eyes than words could convey, and his happy noises bring me joy.